i joined wordpress as a way to get back into blogging. i once was a regular blogger. i supposed you can blame it on the lack of time. i do think part of the reason i haven’t blogged in a long time is because i am not enjoying my current blogging site. once upon a time, i used xanga. i suppose i can go back and blog there but i left for a reason. xanga is pretty outdated (duh!) as no one i know blogs there anymore. i’ve blogged through myspace. writing notes on FB isn’t considered blogging to me. i then moved to tumblr. i do think that tumblr is interesting but it just doesn’t fit the type of blogger i am. tumblr is about posting videos and pictures and cool things that you find on the world wide web. it almost reminds me of pinterest – which i’ve been invited to but am hesitant to join because i’d be a terrible pinterest-er. i’m more of the express-yourself, share-your-thoughts blogger. i needed something where, when i log on, i’d find other bloggers doing the same through photos and words rather than random youtube videos and funny pictures.
my desire to start writing again was so intense that i did research as to which blogging platform would best fit me. so here i am. quick warning, my blogs aren’t that interesting. my life is pretty simple, my thoughts are short of complex but i do like to share them. i wear my heart on my sleeve, be vulnerable to perfect strangers and just write. i’ve always believed that expressing yourself through random thoughts and crazy rants helps to organize cluttered thoughts. but its been so long. so here i am. get ready to step into my world and i’m rather excited to get into it all over again.
i suppose i should begin with a quick intro as to who i am. at least then, you’ll know what you’re getting yourself into.
first and foremost, i am the daughter of the living God and Christ is my Savior. I am a sinner, undeserving of his love, grace and mercy yet He offers the free gift of Salvation. i desire to be sanctified but struggle as my fleshly desire and human nature can sometimes get a hold on me. i firmly believe that He loves me and He has truly saved me from every danger this world has put on me. in my darkest hour, He’s been faithful. in my most trying moments, He has showered me with love. i tell my story because it gives Him glory. i long for others to know Christ the way i do and if that means writing about it and talking about it so they could know, then that’s what i’ll do.
i’m a special ed, high school teacher for a chicago public school. it’s definitely a challenge. my patience is tested on a daily basis. working in an inner city school, where my students are orphans, parents, gang-bangers, addicts, illiterate, broken and simply different, is my true calling. i consider it my daily missions trip. i love it. sure, there are days when its hard but never have i considered changing my profession. God has given me the heart to love these kids, the patience to withstand the toughest times and the compassion to show love to them. i just embrace and allow God to use me as a His love. for some, i may be the only positive role model figure in their life and i thrive on that. when everyone has turned their back on them, i take them in. yes, during my lunch and my prep periods i’d rather be alone but my classroom is always open for kids who simply want to sit with me and talk. that may sound crazy to others but like i said, it’s who i am and that’s what God has blessed me with.
i’m a daughter, i’m a sister, i’m a friend. i treasure my relationships. i make the effort in all my relationships. i listen, i understand. i don’t do drama, i refrain from gossip but it happens. i’m working on it. i don’t judge – i simply listen. i make mistakes too. i don’t sweat the small stuff. i tell friends if they’ve hurt me but that’s rare. i let others into my boring life and so far, its been good. i’m not the greatest friend which is simply evidenced by the amount of friends i’ve lost over the years but hey, that’s life. i’ve gained so many other quality friends. things don’t always work out, i’m ok with that.
i believe in love and i love hard. i don’t hold back. i don’t worry about heartache. i’ve gotten over it before, i can get over it again. sure there’s a tough exterior but after some peeling, you’ll find love.
age aint nothing but a number. as long as you don’t waste your days and your years, then it doesn’t matter. i don’t think about the days i have left. i look at how far i’ve come and i try to make the most of the present.
everything is all about attitude. everyone has a bad day – some circumstances worst than others but its about our attitude. you have the choice to stay positive or let it ruin your life. after the initial annoyance, i like to think that i have a good attitude about things. i don’t dwell… i let go and move on.
everything in life is a gift. i don’t believe i deserve anything. who am i to say what i deserve?
i love my life, even the parts that are challenges. it’s a part of God’s perfect plan. i always look back in hindsight and i smile at what God just did. he’s awesome, i’m not.
i make mistakes. lots of them. i have too many things going on that i forget other things. i have a tiny insecurity about my physical appearance though i believe that God made me beautiful. there goes an example as to why i call myself a walking contradiction. i guess i just think that i could do more to make myself better. my room is always a mess. i let things pile up and then i have a mini freak out. i don’t like to proofread- you’ll discover that soon enough. i put too much on plate all at once. i have trouble saying no sometimes. i complain too much. my old tendency to exaggerate comes back every now and then. i’m simply far from perfect.
i like the color yellow, running races, music especially the piano and guitar though i don’t know how to play either, i like to watch sports especially the Bulls, school supplies, pictures, socks, colorful things, painting my nails on a weekly basis, reality tv, good books, working out and making goals.
that’s me in about 1100 words. well, here’s to a new beginning.